I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
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Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
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But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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