writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
