Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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