I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
