If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
