Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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