:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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