found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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