I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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