I'm passing your future prison.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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