all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize