at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
