THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize