Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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