rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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