Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
that may or may not have been my penis.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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