I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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