I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
