i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
This is the high leading the old right now
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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