The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
