Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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