yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
