we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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