Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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