Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
