And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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