Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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