yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
they need to just BURY HIM!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
