theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
