Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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