Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
