just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
