i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
