Who wears a wallet chain?!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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