This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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