Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
