My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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