he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
