All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
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I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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