if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
