If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
