how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
