Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
