dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
