I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
