i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
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Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just high enough for therapy.
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The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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