hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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