no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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