dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
