Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.