dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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