My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt