How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
