If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
