My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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