Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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