did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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