We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Houston, we have a blender
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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