he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize