I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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