why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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