the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize