The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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